Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, 2002
Riverside Academy

Wasted Time

The time that I’ve wasted is my biggest regret
Spent in these places I will never forget.
Just feeling and thinking about the things I’ve done:
The crying, the laughing, the hurt, and the fun.

Now it’s just me and my hard driven guilt
Behind a wall of emptiness I allowed to be built.
I am trapped in my body, just wanting to run
Back to my youth with its laughter and fun.

But the chase is over and there is no place to hide.
Everything is gone including my pride.
With reality suddenly right in my face
I am scared, alone and stuck in this place.

Now memories of the past flash through my head
And the pain is obvious by the tears that I shed.
I ask myself why and where I went wrong
I guess I was weak when I should have been strong.

Living for the drugs and the wings I had grown,
My feelings were lost — afraid to be shown.
As I look at my past, it’s so easy to see
The fear that I had afraid to be me.

I’d pretend to be rugged so fast and so cool
When actually lost like a blinded old fool.
I am getting too old for this tiresome game
Of acting real hard with no sense of shame.

It’s time that I change and get on with my life:
Fulfilling my dreams for a family and wife.
What my future will hold, I really don’t know
But the years that I wasted are starting to show.

I just live for the day when I get a new start
And the dreams I still hold deep in my heart.
I hope I can make it, I at least have to try
Because I am heading toward death and I don’t want to die.

Written by
Juan Alvarez (18)
Joshua Booher (17)
Jeffrey Lopez (16)
Devon Woolf (17)

Read by Jeffrey Lopez

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